Day 28: The light shines in the darkness...

Isaiah 9: 2, 6

The people who walked in darkness

                have seen a great light;

Those who lived in a land of deep darkness –

                on them light has shined.

For a child has been born for us,

                a son given to us;

Authority rests upon his shoulders;

                and he is named

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

                Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

HOPE –

Lamentations 3:24

"The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

PEACE - 

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understating, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

JOY –

Nehemiah 8:10

“…and do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

LOVE –

I John 3:18

Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

“Father, today I celebrate the reality of Your presence in my life. I celebrate Your birth, Your life, Your death and Your resurrection. And as I celebrate, Lord, help me to be "God with skin on" to those in need around me. Open my eyes and let me see them as You see them! I love You. Happy birthday Jesus! In Jesus name, amen.” -  Mary Southerland, “Girlfriends in God”

Day 27: LOVE for the homeless

 

"Sometimes it's easy to walk by because we know we can't change someone's whole life in a single afternoon. But what we fail to realize it that simple kindness can go a long way toward encouraging someone who is stuck in a desolate place.”

― Mike Yankoski

Here he was again. Standing on the corner, with a cardboard sign saying “HOMELESS, COLD, HUNGRY… Anything helps.” Actually, there seems to be a person like him at every corner. A man or woman with a flimsy cardboard sign. I sit uncomfortably in my warm car, wondering what to do. Would it be helping this person to give him money? What will he use the money for? Does it matter? Are there places he could be going that would serve his needs more appropriately? By the time my fussy thoughts stop swirling, the light has changed, and I am off the hook. Again. Until the next stop light.

Last year my husband came up with a wonderful solution. A gift card to SuperAmerica. A place where the homeless person can buy food or soap or toothpaste. Or perhaps cigarettes. It somehow felt more helpful, more concrete. But honestly, it may just be a way for us to be sure they don’t spend the money on drugs. And of course, that is no business of ours.

The other idea for helping these men and women on the corner came from the Union Gospel Mission. Last year, the Mission gave us a book of tickets: “Good for one free meal at the Union Gospel Mission.” I like these coupons because it gets the person a free meal, and hopefully, gets them plugged into the services that the Union Gospel Mission offers to the homeless. Still, I have hesitated to give these out. I wonder if the recipient says, “That’s all well and good, but I am hungry right now. Right now.”

So, for my Advent act of LOVE, I decided to combine them. I bought ten SA gift cards ($5 each), and pulled out ten of the Mission tickets, and stapled them together. A gift of LOVE for the next ten homeless people I encountered. This gift felt right; the receiver could go to SuperAmerica and grab a hot dog to eat while he or she heads over to the Mission for some help of a more lasting kind.

On my way home, I spotted the man on the corner. Young, bearded, long hair. I handed him the gift before I sped around the corner. He yelled, “Thank you! Merry Christmas!” to which I replied, “Merry Christmas!”

It was a meager, but very well-intentioned gift of LOVE. Yet, it left me feeling less than satisfied. I wish I, WE, could offer him the lasting

gift of a home and meal and a job and a loving family.

Day 26: LOVE in simple gifts

“The gifts we treasure most over the years are often small and simple. In easy times and tough times, what seems to matter most is the way we show those nearest to us that we’ve been listening to their needs, to their joys, and to their challenges.” – Fred Rogers        

Today’s act of love presented itself at the Jewish Community Center (JCC), where I drag my tired body nearly every weekday morning to exercise. When I walked in, the van driver was biting into a piece of rocky road fudge, his eyes rolling with ecstasy. Linda, the front desk receptionist laughed, “You should have seen what someone brought me yesterday!” as she took another bite. I presented my membership card to her and she greeted me and smiled; a big chocolate covered tooth smile.

I thought, “Hey, people are giving gifts to the receptionist at the JCC! What an incredible way to show LOVE!”

Linda deserved a gift. She comes to work at 5:00 every morning, and greets each person by name and with a smile.

Then, of course, I thought of Tim, the one with the self-improvement books and battered spiral notebook. He too greets me by name, and usually with a laugh as I check into the fitness center, because he knows I am going to ask him what he is reading or writing today.

So, what to get them? Tim was easy; more on him later. Linda was more difficult because I don’t know her. A Caribou card? Does she even like coffee? McDonald’s? I was determined not to get her another sweet treat. Honestly, how much chocolate can one person take? I know, a lot.

So, as I was leaving, I asked her, “What do you do when you are not working here?” (She works part time). She said, “I take care of my parents.” She and I are of the same generation, and I know what she means about taking care of parents (although mine are doing just fine, thank you very much).

So, knowing how stressful care-giving can be and how we could all use a little soothing LOVE, I bought her a big bar of scented Shea Butter soap. It smelled like a warm summer day, and I hoped the fragrant lather would feel good on her skin. Just a little something to let her know she was loved. By me, and most certainly by her parents.

Tim, I bought a notebook. A smaller, neater version of his spiral notebook.

I wrapped the gifts and then debated: Happy Hanukah or Merry Christmas? You’re never really sure when you are at the JCC. I settled on “Happy New Year”.

Later in the day, I went back to the JCC. I handed the gift to Linda, who was so pleased to receive it. I thanked her for her smile every morning.

Tim was not working today. But that was OK. I handed the gift to the person sitting at his desk and told her to put it somewhere where he would find it. I didn’t sign my name. It’s especially fun to think about him trying to figure out who it is from. It will not take him long.

So, today, I did two small acts of LOVE. And didn’t it feel good?

Day 25: LOVE in conversation (and other daily acts)

“Love without conversation is impossible.” – Mortimer Adler
 

My friend, Gloria, left a message on my answering machine last night: “Do you know it has been nine days since we have seen each other?” Indeed, Day 17 of this Advent blog describes my trip to the movies with Gloria. She also told me that it had been a week since she had even been out of her apartment, since the weather had been so darn cold.

My first act of LOVE, then, this morning, was to call her and ask if she would like to go out for coffee. Well, in fact, no, she had exercise class this morning, and then a visit from a friend that afternoon, but thanks anyway.  

Sometimes Gloria will call me with a small list of items she needs at the grocery store, items I pick up when I do my regular shopping. This week it was business envelopes and chocolates (!).  I told her I had the purchases in my car, and she said, “Oh, you can just drop them off.” I said “No, I’m coming in because we have to get caught up.”

We met in the lobby of the assisted living facility where she lives. She bought me coffee, and we chatted.

I’d like to say my act of LOVE was to listen, and in fact it was. But truth be told, she ended up doing a lot more listening; I just had so much to tell her.

So, here is what I have to say today about LOVE. First, we all really do loving acts all day long, like shopping for each other, buying coffee, and listening. We just need to notice these acts, and probably try to do them more often. Second, good conversation is one of the most supreme acts of LOVE. It lets me know that I and my trifling stories are worthwhile, and it lets the other person know that they are worthy of my attention and LOVE, which indeed they are.

Day 24: LOVE without freaking out

“Trusting God’s plan is the only secret I know in the gentle art of not freaking out.” – Lysa Terkuerst

Today’s post will be very short; I am very tired.

Today, my son, David, had his car towed. He was supposed to have moved it before the plows came, and he didn’t. He called me in the middle of the day. He needed: 1. proof of ownership, 2. an exorbitant amount of money, and 3. a ride from his apartment in Hopkins to the car place in Minneapolis. His father found proof of ownership and took it to the towing place, bless his heart. And he paid the cash.

I provided the ride. The very long ride. When one is stuck in traffic for what feels like forever on Hwy 394 and then Hwy 94 with your son in the passenger seat, there are a number of options. I took the high road. David thanked me for not “freaking out”. And he is right; I did not freak out. I could have freaked out, I certainly have freaked out many times in the past, but this time I didn’t.

And that is an act of restraint. But also, an act of LOVE. Waking up and walking to your car in the early morning, only to find it missing, has got to be a really distressing experience. So, I figured my raging and yelling and all that goes along with “freaking out” could only compound, and certainly not help the distress.

So, because I am trying to welcome the Advent experience of hope, and joy, and peace, and LOVE into my life (and into my son’s life), I kept my mouth shut. 

I LOVE him very much.